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Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a few words that foreigners simply in Korea learn and included in this is usually your message chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this word within their English sentences without doubt and employ it seemingly without understanding just what it means. That is probably one of my least words that are favorite Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I became using lessons that are korean days per week for four hours every day. I became devouring just as much because I was dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and of course I was living in Korea and I wanted to make life just a bit easier as I could of the language. Prior to taking the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect inside the rules for the language, elements of the language that force us to show a respect that we might n’t have for somebody. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in enough situations to learn that a number of, frequently, males just assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, we learned how exactly to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest lessons I learned, nonetheless, had been that We have almost no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis would be the Korean type of friend while a freestanding buddy will function as English version.)

My hubby, boyfriend at that time, and I also made a decision to have a meet up at our home and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us across the table and I also was the foreigner that is only the spot. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all of his friends for an excellent four to five years plus in my tongue that is native would phone them my buddies. Following the meals was completed as well as the plates picked up, I was thinking a game title could be fun. Taking what I’d discovered from class on how best to call some body by name, I said, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a casino game?” with the reduced as a type of the language. I experienced been confidence that is gaining the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There clearly was an audible gasp and after a couple of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of the more aggressively conservative people in the team explained i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Buddy 1: So-yung is over the age of you may be.

Friend 2: You can’t say “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than this woman is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Buddy 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me personally: What do you mean? I’ve known her for many years. We have her contact number during my phone. She is seen by me a whole lot. Our company is buddies and my book says that is an appropriate ending for a friend.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be buddies than you are because she is older.

Me: we don’t determine what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: you are able to simply be buddies with some one that’s the age that is same yourself.

Me: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. You may be all my buddies and you’re all more than i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t your pals.

After because I was just told I had no friends and also because the language they were using to express their viewpoint was very aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations very well that I went to my room for a little cry mostly. Originating from a training viewpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the pupil respond in a way that is positive. Frequently, the student will end up more fearful to utilize the language or try to utilize words as time goes on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later that I don’t assault them when they misuse a word, if it’s excessively rude, I remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I also attempt to assist them understand just why it may be taken the wrong manner. My “friends” however, are not therefore patient with my language acquisition. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two for the more tolerant people in our team came in to relax me and explain in nicer terms just what every person had gotten so upset about.